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After seeing Star Wars, Episode 1, many of you have been asking the burning question: why did Qui-Gonn, Jedi Master, take Jar-Jar Binks into the city with him on Tattooine? Jar-Jar was an aquatic creature, so why did the wise Jedi take him into the blasting, triple sun heat of the Wastes? We all know that nothing happens in the Star Wars universe without complete logic and unflappable attention to detail in order to create that perfect sense of "suspension of disbelief." We all know that George wouldnāt let us down. But, it seems that here he did. Untrue. It was the editors who let us down. In Hollywoodās grand design to kill scenes to make movies shorter, the scene that would explain just exactly why Jar-Jar followed Qui-Gonn Jinn into the city was cut. We have obtained a copy of the script, although not the scene. Letās face it, breaking into LucasFilm headquarters and taking what you want just aināt as easy as it used to be. Obi-Wan: Master, a word with you? Qui-Gonn: Yes, my Padawan? Obi-Wan: It is a matter concerning our÷shall we say÷stowaway? Qui-Gonn: The Queen? Obi-Wan: No, sheās fine. Qui-Gonn: The African-Correllian whose name I canāt remember? Obi-Wan:
No,
no. It is Jar-Jar. I think he should go with you. Obi-Wan: (sigh) But, Master, there is a danger in regards to the Dark Side if Jar-Jar stays here. Qui-Gonn (quietly, looking around) Do you sense something, young Padawan? Obi-Wan: (rolling his eyes) In a way, Master. I sense that Jar-Jarās presence here is likely to lead to anger and hate, and I may inadvertently give in to the Dark Side and slice out his tongue with my Lightsaber should he remain. Qui-Gonn: (admonishing) Obi-Wan, this is not like you. A Jedi must have patience, a Jedi must have respect for life, a Jedi must· Obi-Wan: Look, Master, I know I must have all of that, but you havenāt had to babysit him all the way from Naboo to this sandpile, have you. Iām not a Master yet, I donāt have your wisdom and patience. In fact what little I have has been strained to the very limits of my endurance. Qui-Gonn: A Jedi must, above all·. Obi-Wan: Yes, yes, I know. You spend the day with the retard, then, Master. Search your feelings, you know you cannot. Qui-Gonn: (looking disgusted) Okay, Iāll flip you for it (producing a coin). Obi-Wan: No tricks this time, Master. Youāve been getting free lunch outta me with that old trick for about a year now. Qui-Gonn: Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan: Iām not dumb. Qui-Gonn: It is customary for the Padawan to buy the lunch of the Master. Obi-Wan: I donāt remember reading that in the manual, but fine. Fine. Iāll get your lunch until I the Council tests me if you just take him with you. Iām telling you, heās making me more aggravated than a Wookie in a barber shop. Qui-Gonn: Letās flip for it, shall we? Obi-Wan: Iāll flip it. No tricks. Obi-Wan pulls out his own coin and flips it, watching Qui-Gonnās hand the whole time. Qui-Gonn: Heads! Obi-Wan: Sorry, tails. Iām afraid youāve lost this one, Master. Qui-Gonn: (grumbling and turning towards the ship to yell) Jar-Jar? Want to go on a field trip? Qui-Gonn stalks off towards the ship, leaving behind a very satisfied Obi-Wan Kenobi who is seen smiling as he turns his double tailed coin in his hands. Obi-Wan: (gazing off at the desert) Honestly, why would anyone ever choose to live in this place anyway? (END OF SCENE) |