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| GARGAMEL SMURFS EAST SMURF VILLAGE (cont.) | |||||||||
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Chaos reigned as Gargamel, smurfed his way past the smurfapaults and smurflistas of the SDF. At exactly 11 smurfs after 8:00 am Central Smurfy Time, Gargamel had destroyed his first Smurf dwelling with his boot, crushing down upon the unfortunate smurf. Smurfs were completely smurfed out of their smurfs, and smurfed away in sheer terror. After smurfing two more toadstools, Gargamel began tearing into the dwellings and extracting Smurfs at will. Captured in the raid were Vanity Smurf and his |
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| long-time companion Salon Smurf. At the time, the SDF had smurfed no information about the whereabouts of the two Smurfs, although it was surmised that Gargamel probably smurfed them into his pockets as he scampered home. That perception though, was changed later. "We smurfed him good," reported Captain Hefty. He then smurfed on to a more political topic, referring to the upcoming ratification of the Bio-smurfacle Nonproliferation treaty with the Snork Confederation. "The smurf gas developed by our Bio-smurfacle weapons division worked perfectly. I just hope those left-smurfers in the Smurf Council don't just give our smurfiest anti-Gargamel smurfs away, for crying out smurf." (see full details on smurf 2) Bio-smurfacle warfare developer, Brainy Smurf, was very smurfed that the smurf gas worked so well. "I knew it all along. That smurf-gas, my genius invention, would choke the smurf right out of Gargamel. Not only will his eyes burn for three days like a son-of-a-smurf, but he'll lose a valuable piece of his memory and forget the way to Smurf Village again." Plans were smurfed to extract the unlucky victims of the Gargamel victims late last night. This morning, before the smurf deadline, Smurfy Times received word that a retaliation smurf team, led by SDF Special Smurfs Commando Leader Wild Smurf, penetrated the Gargamel perimeter and smurfed back with a smurf of their own. Details have not quite smurfed in yet. A full de-smurfing by General Violent Smurf is expected today. What is known is this, the Special Smurf Commandos were able to rescue Vanity and Salon from Gargamel, although the attempt on Azrael's life was a complete smurf-up. No list of casualties has been released yet. "Some Smurfs would say that it is wrong to try to smurf out Azrael," smurfed a very angry General Violent. "But we do not negociate with Gargamel. There is only one thing a wizard like that understands, and that is the smurfy end of a smurf. Next time, we'll get that sm*****g cat." Papa Smurf, vacationing outside the Smurf Village at Homnibus's house, flew in on Feathers 1 within hours of hearing of the attack. In a speech to the down-in-the-smurf East Smurfers, Papa Smurf stated, "Smurfs, smurfians, smurfy Smurfs, we will not smurf in. We will smurf in the smurf, to the last smurf. No matter what the smurf, we will prevail." Papa Smurf had no comment on the retaliation, but is expected to take a lot of smurf from Hippie Smurf and the Smurfy-Peace activists. Insmufers tell Smurfy Times, though, that Papa intends to support the raid and this could be the start of a policy shift in the SDF. | |||||||||
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