Not since "Amongst The Seed I Lay: A Man's Search For Genetic Libido Enhancement" has a book struck such a chord in the soul of the American and Indonesian Man. Describing this mans work in words would not only sound guttural, but fail to grasp the very concepts with which our masculinity derives, and plus, it wouldn't rhyme very well. With great pleasure, and used tissue paper, we bring you two chapters from his upcoming novel. Feel free to skip between the chapters, although we warn that doing so may cause a low build in the intestinal region and blockage.
| I. The Briggs & Stratton Effect | <<back | next>> |
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Being that man's lot is to suffer, the first conclusion of my menticulture, or Way, is that man while on earth, should endeavor to glean pleasure from his suffering, and thus transmute from the coarse crudity of pain the golden shower of ecstasy. With timidity and meekness my model man scampers, ever on the run, from pain to pleasure, and in finding that he no longer has to run, that indeed he can bond his pain with pleasure, and distill from this mixture the mead that will keep him through all his days; so he will achieve the true maturity to which my modest philosophy only alludes. Take the example of the Briggs & Stratton Maneuver, an erotic technique for self-pleasuring much out of favor, but once in vogue and trumpeted hotly in the fine men's magazines of the 1970's.
| I. The Briggs & Stratton Effect | <<back | next>> |
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In this simple exercise I have found my life's work crystallized and made triumphant, I have found in the small the large, in the mundane the phenomenal, in the sacred, the profane. You can try this one at home:
1. Tie a shoe-lace or perhaps a piece of twine so that along it's length six knots appear. Make sure the string is of the highest hygenity, as you will be inserting it up your rectum and deep into your bowels.
2. Disrobe and become erect. (No ladies should have read this far in my secret men's manual, but if any fems have indeed snuck a peek, you will wisely disengage your eyes and cease reading. There are deep masculine energies afoot and a-roam in my secret men's book, and you'd wisely direct your attentions to my wife's manual for making men happy "Everyman an Alpha: A Dame's Guide to Pleasuring the Male" (1998).
| I. The Briggs & Stratton Effect | <<back | next>> |
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3. Using a legitimate lubricant (spittle is not legitimate), insert, come hell or high water, by any means necessary, the string up your rectum and deep into your bowels to the SIXTH KNOT. (I cannot emphasize this last point strongly enough. In order for you to achieve the higher ecstasies, the SIXTH KNOT must be met and exceeded.) If you've done this correctly, there should be an inch or so of string dangling from your arse ( much like a Tampax string would dangle from the naughty bits of a she-whore under the full moon). (My wife has assured me that "she-whore" is appropriate nomenclature for a woman during her "dark time".)
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4. Now, you are going to commit a sin here, but a very small sin, and I'll forgive you as I gave you the idea to try this in the Name of Religo-Science: using the Fantasy of the Wet-Nurse (Chapter 5 in my 1993 book "Frig-Tales from the Olden Days") or perhaps using the Fantasy of Priapus and the Maid (Appendix to "Age-old Frig-Tales for the New Age", 1994), or any other of my copyrighted fantasies, take yourself to your most engorged state with manual friction. Disengage friction before discharge.
5. Repeat maximum state of arousal 6 (SIX) times, without spending. The ecstasy I preach is so very much more than rank Onanism, and your "money shot" will make you much much richer than ol' King Midas.
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6. At your Sixth (6TH) "rub", (and I do hope you've read these directions in there entirety before proceeding with the ritual), carry your manhood to its conclusion, and with timing that befits sweet Hermes (Mercury to the Romans), with your unengaged hand pull out the Sacred Cord (for it is an Umbilicus Divine) in a swift and brutal motion as you spend.
7. For the Initiated, the Sacred Cord can be pulled slowly during the Sixth Rub, but must be fully out of the arse by the time of spending, but the sort of timing I'm talking about here is really only the province of a Magus, like me.
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8. Like an ancient Nordic Norn or seer reading the future in entrails, examine the Cord for any fortunes it may foretell, bind it and keep it, to be used over and over in accordance with any of my copyrighted fantasies or teachings.
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This is the Briggs & Stratton Effect, so-named for the action of a pull-cord on a certain model of Sears Lawnmower. See if it doesn't do for your psyche what the pull-cord does for the engine. I stumbled across this Higher Mystery in an issue of "Couples", a magazine published under the imprint of Siri L. Flynt, in 1978. The golden afternoon I discovered the B&S Effect rests fondly in my memory and indeed marked the beginning of my spiritual odyssey. But still, I had a long way to go in formulating my menticulture, and endured many bitter defeats and soul-searching victories. Uniting the Profane with my Idea of the Divine was never easy work, and so I'll leave you, until the next chapter, with a prayer on my lips and the sure grease of Manhood on my palms. On to Chapter Two!
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